Don't Look Back: Part Two
(A Sadie Saga)
Sadie's Diary: September 6th, 2013
 September 6th, 2013
Dear Diary,
                  I can't express how weird I feel, being here in America. It's a weight off my mind knowing that Topaz wants to help me, I'm sure things will be okay now. She said she emailed Alyssa last night, to tell her I was safe and sound in Los Angeles and that noone was to worry. I only hope that information alone doesn't give my sister fits. Ah well. At least she'll know I'm safe and when I'm feeling better, well, I'll email her properly, or phone or something and tell her everything. She'll forgive me, I'm sure she will. After all, she knows how scared I was that night. This might have been a knee-jerk reaction, but I did need to get away.

Thinking about Alyssa and everything makes me feel really odd and homesick. I've not seen anything of Los Angeles yet, not really, and I'm excited to be here, really I am, but somehow I feel so strange here too. When Topaz was here, and we were talking, I felt safe and okay, but when I'm alone, well, I really feel it. Alone in a strange country, no security, no legal paperwork, and I realise that I've literally lost everything in coming here. Well, okay, not my family, perhaps, but I can't see them. I won't be there when Alyssa gives birth to my first nephew. I won't be there to see Sharita's concerts or Megan's first day of school. It makes me want to cry...I miss them so so much. Since I came out of prison and rehab they've been the dearest people in the world to me, and I've always been able to fall back on them. Now I'm a whole world away. I've given up my own home, my job, everything I worked to achieve in Birmingham. Maybe Jess was right, and I should have gone to the police instead. But oh, what if it all came out, about Marsha and everything? I'd be up in the dock for concealing evidence, and there's no way I want that. I've already got a record, they're not going to look at me with any leniency. I'm just another repeat offender with a drug habit somewhere lurking in the closet. No, I did the right thing. Drastic as it seems, I needed to get away.

Another thing I've lost coming here is Irene. I'm really going to miss her, too. I'm on my own regarding my mental state now, and I can't let her or myself down. I know I'm better than I was. Gladys said I should always go for whatever I wanted and she's right, so I will. I want to stay here in Los Angeles a while - maybe a year, maybe longer - till everything has died down back home and it's safe for me to return. I want to find a simple job - if Topaz can get me paperwork, well, maybe I can find something like waitressing or, I dunno, in a shop or something to tide me over. There must be something. I don't have qualifications, but surely there must be something here I could do. I'm not fussy, not really. All I want is to settle down and be secure. I won't impose on Topaz and her friends longer than I have to - they're being so sweet in letting me stay and protecting me from being deported.

I wish all of this wasn't so complicated, and I wish my head didn't ache so much still! Time moves pretty slowly when you're stuck in bed taking medicine at odd intervals and reliant on any company that comes through the door. Copper was sweet this morning, she brought me breakfast in bed and we talked for a little while. I'm a bit shy around Topaz's friends, but Copper's one of the sweetest people ever, and we discussed her engagement and simple topics. Small talk, really. I know, because Topaz told me, that they know Neal was behind me coming to America, but she didn't ask any awkward questions and I was kinda glad.  Other than that I've been amusing myself making sketches of people back home, it makes me feel closer to them, somehow, to draw them in the back of my diary. I hope Sharita isn't mad that I left how I did. I hope Alyssa will explain to her. And Chevonne, at the centre. I hope she'll be all right without me there - I know she relied on me quite a lot for advice and support. Maybe when I'm better and can email the centre I can tell Jessica or someone to put her in touch with me. Perhaps that will help.

Noone here knows about my past. That's how I have to make it stay.  Noone would want to help a girl with a prison record and with a history of drug abuse. Even Topaz doesn't know that and there's no reason she ever should. It's behind me, and I'm not gonna be talking about it.
Now, if only I could find a way to safely stay here in LA! I know the homesickness will fade - it did in rehab, and in prison, after a while. I conquered it. I can conquer it again.

Well, Diary, let's hope from here the only way is up!

Chapter One: Conference
Chapter Two: An Unexpected Houseguest
Chapter Three: The Wannabes
Chapter Four: Sadie Confides
Sadie's Diary: September 6th, 2013
Chapter Five: A Spy

Chapter Six: Inspiration
Sadie's Diary: September 7th, 2013
Chapter Seven: Cynthia Lends A Hand

Sadie's Diary: September 8th, 2013
Chapter Eight: Into The Lion's Den
Sadie's Diary: September 9th, 2013
Chapter Nine: Latisha Admits
Chapter Ten: Dinner At The Starlight
Chapter Eleven: Truth Will Out
Chapter Twelve: The Newest Jewel

Copper, Nancy, Sylva, Anna, Blade, Raesha, Sirena, Topaz, Aaron, Sophie, Justin, Elliot, Rosita, Luis and any other characters in this fiction which do not appear in the animated Jem series are copyrighted to me (E.A Woolley) as of January 2002 <unless otherwise specified> and are not to be reproduced without permission ANYWHERE. Jetta, Pizzazz, Stormer, Roxy, Raya and all other original Jem characters are the copyright of Hasbro Inc, Sunbow, Christy Marx and the other writers of the Jem series. The future world of Pizzazz, Raya, Jetta, Roxy, Stormer, Clash, Synergy, the fate of Jem and her memorial are all copyrighted to me. The future world of Kimber and Shana is copyrighted jointly to myself and Gemma Dawn.
The concept of 'Jewel' is entirely my own, and any apparent link with any fictional or actual person or persons of this name is entirely coincidental. Equally the characters in this fiction are not based on any real life individual.
The concept behind the future world of Danse, Aja and Craig, the idea behind Jerrica's futureworld and the split of the Holograms is copyrighted to Gemma Dawn, whose Teenangel Outsiders fiction is directly twinned with Just a Dream. The character Sammi and any of the other Teenangel Outsider characters mentioned in this fiction are entirely copyright to Gemma Dawn and appear here only with her permission.
Pay her page a visit!