Don't Look Back
(A Sadie Saga)
Sadie's Diary: August 28th, 2013
August 28th, 2013
Dear Diary,
Feel a bit better tonight. Talked things out with Chevonne at the centre.
Yeah, I know it sounds kinda weird, when I've talked the kid through so
many problems but I dunno, somehow Chevonne is like me and it's easy to
confide in her. Maybe it's because she doesn't have any expectations of
me that I can't live up to. Sure I'm her counsellor and her confidant but
I'm also her friend and she relates to me - it makes it less hard to tell
the truth about things. We talked for a long time - she admitted to me too
that she has a crush on Tony, which is kinda sweet. It made me a little wistful
too, though. I mean, I'm a romantic at heart and I love a happy ending, I
just wish I could find one for myself, that's all. Soon as Tony realises
Chevonne is crazy about him I'm certain he'll realise he feels the same way...I
dunno, perhaps it's just me. Perhaps I'm just not good romance material.
I feel most at home in the centre somehow - Alyssa scolds me for saying
that, but it's true. She says Im hiding away, playing safe. Sticking to
what I know and not wanting to move out in the world. Hell, maybe she's right.
I mean, I haven't dated since I came to the city. Not once. Deliberately.
I've been asked a few times at clubs or whatever with Cece but I've always
turned them down. I'm just not comfortable with any of that.
Besides, I like the centre. It's a comforting place, even with so many
troubled people there. Irene thinks I see it as mutual therapy. Perhaps
I do. Certainly seemed that way today, anyhow. I didn't realise how good
a counsellor Chevonne is going to be when she's old enough to apply.
I'm over at Alyssa's at the moment - I think that helps me feel safer
too, not being alone in my apartment. Okay, I know that I am alone here
with the girls and if anything should happen, well, it wouldn't be nice,
but I feel like this is my bolthole. I'm away from him here - he can't get
to me.
Sharita and Megan are both tucked up in bed, fast asleep. They were
good kids tonight, bless them. A couple of Disney movies, an hour of playing
dolls and making them tea, then they trotted off to bed. No fuss. Well, no
more than you expect from a playful pair of kids. One day I'd like some of
my own like Meg and Shari. Oh, I know it's a bloody doubtful thought when
I'm scared witless of men and anything along that line, but I can't help it.
Irene says I need to move on, start to trust other people a little more...but
it's easier said than done.
Megan just trotted in half asleep with her mug looking for milk - she's
so cute in her pyjamas with her curls all over the place. The biggest thing
in the world for me is that Alyssa and Andrew trust me with their most precious
possessions and I wouldn't do anything to let them down. Meg and Shari
are a huge part of me being as good as I am today - they don't know what
I've done, I'm just Auntie Sadie to them and they like me. There's nothing
like a kid's unconditional love to boost your confidence.
I hope I don't have the dream tonight. I'm sleeping here, so it might
be okay. I hope so anyway. I see Irene tomorrow, but I'm really not sure
I can broach that subject with her yet.
Maybe it will leave me alone.
Oh well...guess there's only one way to find out.
Night, Diary. Sweet dreams.
Sadie's Diary: August 27th, 2013
Chapter One: Jewel
Sadie's Diary: August 28th, 2013
Chapter Two: Topaz's Bombshell
Chapter Three: News
Sadie's Diary: August 30th, 2013
Chapter Four: Award Night
Chapter Five: A Refuge
Chapter Six: An Old Foe
Chapter Seven: Jetta's Advice
Sadie's Diary: September 1st, 2013
Chapter Eight: Sadie Acts
Chapter Nine: Dilemma at the Music Company
Sadie's Diary: September 3rd, 2013
Chapter Ten: A Change Of Plan
Chapter Eleven: A Journey
Sadie's Diary: September 4th, 2013
Chapter Twelve: Girl's Night
DISCLAIMER: PLEASE NOTE
Copper, Nancy, Sylva, Anna, Blade, Raesha, Sirena, Topaz, Aaron,
Sophie, Justin, Elliot, Rosita, Luis and any other characters in this
fiction which do not appear in the animated Jem series are copyrighted
to me (E.A Woolley) as of January 2002 <unless otherwise specified>
and are not to be reproduced without permission ANYWHERE. Jetta, Pizzazz,
Stormer, Roxy, Raya and all other original Jem characters are the copyright
of Hasbro Inc, Sunbow, Christy Marx and the other writers of the Jem series.
The future world of Pizzazz, Raya, Jetta, Roxy, Stormer, Clash, Synergy,
the fate of Jem and her memorial are all copyrighted to me. The future world
of Kimber and Shana is copyrighted jointly to myself and Gemma Dawn.
The concept of 'Jewel' is entirely my own, and any apparent link
with any fictional or actual person or persons of this name is entirely
coincidental. Equally the characters in this fiction are not based on
any real life individual.
The concept behind the future world of Danse, Aja and Craig, the
idea behind Jerrica's futureworld and the split of the Holograms is copyrighted
to Gemma Dawn, whose Teenangel
Outsiders fiction is directly twinned with Just a Dream. The character
Sammi and any of the other Teenangel Outsider characters mentioned in
this fiction are entirely copyright to Gemma Dawn and appear here only
with her permission.
Pay her page a visit!