Don't Look Back
(A Sadie Saga)
Sadie's Diary: August 28th, 2013

August 28th, 2013
Dear Diary,
                Feel a bit better tonight. Talked things out with Chevonne at the centre. Yeah, I know it sounds kinda weird, when I've talked the kid through so many problems but I dunno, somehow Chevonne is like me and it's easy to confide in her. Maybe it's because she doesn't have any expectations of me that I can't live up to. Sure I'm her counsellor and her confidant but I'm also her friend and she relates to me - it makes it less hard to tell the truth about things. We talked for a long time - she admitted to me too that she has a crush on Tony, which is kinda sweet. It made me a little wistful too, though. I mean, I'm a romantic at heart and I love a happy ending, I just wish I could find one for myself, that's all. Soon as Tony realises Chevonne is crazy about him I'm certain he'll realise he feels the same way...I dunno, perhaps it's just me. Perhaps I'm just not good romance material.
I feel most at home in the centre somehow - Alyssa scolds me for saying that, but it's true. She says Im hiding away, playing safe. Sticking to what I know and not wanting to move out in the world. Hell, maybe she's right. I mean, I haven't dated since I came to the city. Not once. Deliberately. I've been asked a few times at clubs or whatever with Cece but I've always turned them down. I'm just not comfortable with any of that.
Besides, I like the centre. It's a comforting place, even with so many troubled people there. Irene thinks I see it as mutual therapy. Perhaps I do. Certainly seemed that way today, anyhow. I didn't realise how good a counsellor Chevonne is going to be when she's old enough to apply.
I'm over at Alyssa's at the moment - I think that helps me feel safer too, not being alone in my apartment. Okay, I know that I am alone here with the girls and if anything should happen, well, it wouldn't be nice, but I feel like this is my bolthole. I'm away from him here - he can't get to me.
Sharita and Megan are both tucked up in bed, fast asleep. They were good kids tonight, bless them. A couple of Disney movies, an hour of playing dolls and making them tea, then they trotted off to bed. No fuss. Well, no more than you expect from a playful pair of kids. One day I'd like some of my own like Meg and Shari. Oh, I know it's a bloody doubtful thought when I'm scared witless of men and anything along that line, but I can't help it. Irene says I need to move on, start to trust other people a little more...but it's easier said than done.

Megan just trotted in half asleep with her mug looking for milk - she's so cute in her pyjamas with her curls all over the place. The biggest thing in the world for me is that Alyssa and Andrew trust me with their most precious possessions and I wouldn't do anything to let them down. Meg and Shari are a huge part of me being as good as I am today - they don't know what I've done, I'm just Auntie Sadie to them and they like me. There's nothing like a kid's unconditional love to boost your confidence.

I hope I don't have the dream tonight. I'm sleeping here, so it might be okay. I hope so anyway. I see Irene tomorrow, but I'm really not sure I can broach that subject with her yet.
Maybe it will leave me alone.
Oh well...guess there's only one way to find out.
Night, Diary. Sweet dreams.

Sadie's Diary: August 27th, 2013
Chapter One: Jewel
Sadie's Diary: August 28th, 2013
Chapter Two: Topaz's Bombshell
Chapter Three: News
Sadie's Diary: August 30th, 2013
Chapter Four: Award Night
Chapter Five: A Refuge
Chapter Six: An Old Foe
Chapter Seven: Jetta's Advice
Sadie's Diary: September 1st, 2013
Chapter Eight: Sadie Acts
Chapter Nine: Dilemma at the Music Company
Sadie's Diary: September 3rd, 2013
Chapter Ten: A Change Of Plan
Chapter Eleven: A Journey
Sadie's Diary: September 4th, 2013
Chapter Twelve: Girl's Night

Copper, Nancy, Sylva, Anna, Blade, Raesha, Sirena, Topaz, Aaron, Sophie, Justin, Elliot, Rosita, Luis and any other characters in this fiction which do not appear in the animated Jem series are copyrighted to me (E.A Woolley) as of January 2002 <unless otherwise specified> and are not to be reproduced without permission ANYWHERE. Jetta, Pizzazz, Stormer, Roxy, Raya and all other original Jem characters are the copyright of Hasbro Inc, Sunbow, Christy Marx and the other writers of the Jem series. The future world of Pizzazz, Raya, Jetta, Roxy, Stormer, Clash, Synergy, the fate of Jem and her memorial are all copyrighted to me. The future world of Kimber and Shana is copyrighted jointly to myself and Gemma Dawn.
The concept of 'Jewel' is entirely my own, and any apparent link with any fictional or actual person or persons of this name is entirely coincidental. Equally the characters in this fiction are not based on any real life individual.
The concept behind the future world of Danse, Aja and Craig, the idea behind Jerrica's futureworld and the split of the Holograms is copyrighted to Gemma Dawn, whose Teenangel Outsiders fiction is directly twinned with Just a Dream. The character Sammi and any of the other Teenangel Outsider characters mentioned in this fiction are entirely copyright to Gemma Dawn and appear here only with her permission.
Pay her page a visit!